Brain Pain

So, I am back at work and none too happy about it. That said, there are layoffs in the wind and I should be happy to be gainfully employed.

My boys seem to be going through a hyper-clingy-whiny-phase and it's breaking my heart. Often, I feel like they always live in fear of my leaving them, hence their over the top attachment towards me. I, of course, beat myself up about this to a ridiculous degree. Then, I feel self indulgent for even waxing on about this as I currently work 30 hours per week, when others somehow work 40 or God forbid, more. Then I remind myself, most people with 3 or more children probably aren't working outside the home. I am then quickly snapped back to the reality of how off-the-charts difficult it is being home with all 3 kids and how lucky we are to have good health care. These are the conversations that are taking place in my head this week, thoughts snapping off like haphazard little firecrackers, complemented by my sinus infection induced, raging headache. So, my head literally feels like it's going to explode, both figuratively and literally.

And this morning was highlighted by my daughter giving me the once over and saying "Look at your tummy. Your tummy is big."

At the risk of sounding all Lloyd-Bridges-in Airplane-ish, I guess I picked the wrong month to give up Zoloft.