Skeeby

I did go and buy a bunch of Purell to take with us, so we're good.

I have to say, people are clearly panicking. I had to go to 4 stores to get Purell. I finally found the little travel ones at Target, but even those were scarce.

I can be a bit of a germaphobe, so the fact that we're flying and staying in a hotel has me all skeeby right now. Trying not to think about it too much.

We're Leaving on a Jet Plane

So, we leave tomorrow. I'm getting a bit anxious about all this swine flu business as we're flying on a major carrier to Mexico, going to So Cal, etc. Trying not to get unreasonably panicky, but part of me wonders if we should be traveling right now.

Obviously, I plan to bring lots of Purell with us.

I plan on bringing the computer, so hopefully will be able to check in while there. We'll see how exhausted I am at the end of the evening.

Ah, Yes, the Birthday Party...

Everything went quite well. Ariel showed up on time, in full mermaid regalia. Her wig was a bit matted and she looked like a "nightclub Ariel" (as one guest commented) but the kids *loved* her. She told a great story, did a mean face paint (for the boys too, she did spider man and batman) and has glittery false eyelashes. What more could one ask for? Oh, and she had parked around the corner, so when she walked off to leave, all the kids thought she was really returning to the ocean. Perfection.

Pretty much everyone, with the exception of a few, showed up. There were kids *everywhere* - My sister in law (the one I have a contentious relationship with) was absent with her older boys (at a baseball game) for most of the party and it was quite nice. My other sister in law was there and incredibly helpful to me. I even got to talk a little reality television talk with someone. My sister in law watches the children of a local newscaster, so I invited them to the party. I had met her a few times, but boy what a sweetheart. She told me that she was sorority sisters with one of the cast members on "Tough Love" (VH1 - one of my current favorites) so we had lots to dish about.

The jumpie was a hit and William was a maniac in there!! David slept for most of the party and was quite confused when he awoke to a house with 40 people in it. I had also set up little stations where kids could work on some puzzles and crafts (foam pads with little cut out shapes), so there was lots to keep the kids occupied.

I felt it was just the right mix of family, friends and pre-school friends. Everyone seemed to have a good time, with the last non family guest leaving around 6 and the last family guests leaving around 8:30, after helping me clean up. The highlight, my sweet Portugese neighbor giving us a pinata that we proceeded to hang from a rope in front of the house. Picture 20 kids beating the crap out of a pinata on my front lawn. It was fabulous!

I will have photos to share soon. There was a professional photographer friend there and I'm waiting to get what he has before posting my mediocre shots.

I do have a few shots, the morning after as Sofia poses with all her bootie, face painting still intact, bathing suit on - ready for action. Can you sense a theme here?

The Disneyland Reveal

The Big Disneyland Reveal. In all its confusing glory.

She so doesn't get it, but that's ok. She will. :)

The Morning After

So, the party is behind us. I think it was a success. Everyone had fun, Ariel was a hit and I was dead tired when the last guest left around 8:30 p.m.

I will definitely be a bit more descriptive when I have more bandwidth (and have finished cleaning my trashed house.)

I did videotape the moment of the big reveal and let's just say Sofia was a bit non plussed. I'll definitely upload and share.

Just Keep Swimming

Behold the princess at her pre-school birthday celebration, devouring a cupcake.

I am so.bone.tired.

Costco has been visited. Chairs have been stood upon, decorations laboriously hung with thumb tacks - glittery fish and colorful, mermaid riddled streamers. Yard chairs have been arranged. Arrangements have been confirmed with Ariel (a.k.a. "Bryce") and the jumpie company. Food items have been planned, always hopeful there is enough, when in reality there is probably too much. Rain is no longer in the forecast (*thank you, GOD*) so the only downer will be ground fog and the icy, ocean breeze. But I'm not complaining. Cold I can handle, wet I cannot. I was having visions of the jumpie turning into a nightmare slip-and-slide with litigation following.

In the morning, Sofia will find out about the trip to Disneyland next week. I considered waiting until the night before we leave to tell her, but honestly, so many people at this party know about the trip, I'm afraid the surprise will be blown if I don't say something. And let's be honest, I am bursting at the seams to tell her. I made a card with a photo of me, Sofia, an airplane and the Disney castle. I feel like it's Christmas Eve!

All Aboard, the Yip Yip Railroad!

The boys at playdate today, hogging the coolest toy of the century.

Good times.

All Aboard, the Yip Yip Railroad!

The boys at playgroup today, hogging what is probably the coolest toy of the century.

Good times.

Don't Rain on My Bouncie

Ok -- so, now the forecasts are saying no rain on Saturday.

Why do I let these things get to me? I'm trying to be zen about it, whatever will be, will be. If we have to postpone the party, we will. We've done it before. I was in the hospital on Sofia's second birthday, so we postponed her party to June and it ended up being a fabulous, summer event. So fabulous, in fact, that I briefly considered moving her birthday party to June every year.

And ya know, we always have Disneyland.

I've got a to-do list a mile long, but most of it I can't do until the 2 days before the party. I've got most of the decorations, food is planned and/or ordered, etc.

Now, if I could just lose this pesky sore throat I've been dealing with for 2 days. Sofia's school sent out a health alert pronouncing strep throat being reported within the school. Positive thinking, positive thinking.

Screw you too, Monday

Monday, I will not let you get me.

First, I get to work to hear that the washing machine is going out in our rental and the new tenant has expectations of it being replaced, when it says in the contract that we provide no warranty for certain appliances (washing machine included) and will not replace. So, have to deal with all that business.

Now, I find out it's supposed to RAIN on Saturday. The day of the birthday party. The day of the completely outdoor birthday party. 40% chance of rain.

I'll say it again. Monday - you will not bring me down!

Mommy's So Vain

So, I think last week was the least I have blogged since I have started blogging. For shame! I wasn’t feeling quite myself for the most part. Stressed about money (of course), the future (natch) and the next couple of weeks. Sofia’s birthday party is Saturday (last count, 18 kids, 20 adults) and then a few days later, the surprise Disneyland trip for Sofia and I. (I can’t afford any of this, by the way, but the wheels are already set in motion, so off we go! Fortunately, the Disney trip was already paid for before the job loss, so I'm not too worried about that. The birthday party, on the other hand, is snowballing into wayyyyyy more than I intended.) So, if I’m MIA for a few days, you will know that I am just busy, not giving up on blogging.

First things first. The Wellbutrin seemed to be aggravating my anxiety and I called my doctor in a panic last week, seeking her thoughts on how long I should stick it out before switching back to Zoloft or another med. She talked me down off the ledge, encouraged me to use Klonopin or Xanax when I need to (I do, typically before bed, not in the middle of a work day or SAHM day when I have to be hyper functional) and we both agreed another 10 days of trial would be prudent before giving up on it completely.

Well.

I had noticed that my tummy was getting giggly and thought Hmmmmm. (After having 3 babies in 2 years, 2 of which equaled 13 lbs, I have excessive belly fat. When it deflates a a bit, we call it twin skin.) In any case, my stomach was now becoming less bloated and more saggy and twin skin like. Lovely conversation, I know. In any case, I decided to get on the scale and discovered that I had indeed lost about 10 lbs since the last time I’d weighted myself. Granted, I’ve been walking about 4 days a week, but I haven’t curtailed my eating and drinking too much. Seeing the scale was enough to boost my spirits 20 fold. I decided right then and there that I would continue to take the Wellbutrin if this was the side effect. What’s a minor panic attack once in a while if it equates to weight loss? (I’m kidding. Well, sort of)

Today, one of the most cattiest agents (Teacher Tom) told me my skin looked nice. To a just-about-to-turn-41-year-old-woman, that is the highest compliment you can bestow. And from a gay man? Please, he made my whole week. Thank you, Neutrogena fake tanner. And is it conceited to say that I’ve been having some unprecedented great hair days the past week? Don't answer that.

An unexpected weight loss, skin looking good and some great hair days? Things are looking up!! I am soooooooooooooooooooooo vain. Carly Simon wrote that song about me.

Now, life on the discipline with the kids front is not as hopeful, but I’ll save that for another post.

Sitting Shotgun

Ok, so here's why I'm so grumpy. Aside from the aforementioned, unexpected menstrual visit.

My husband is lame. He gets these papers from Unemployment, from Cal Cobra and he doesn't read them. He just files them away.

Meanwhile, we have no had no unemployment money coming in since March (and that was after 2 months of delay.) I finally looked all of it over and realized that he needs to fill out the continuing claim form, which he has no recollection of receiving. I have been diligently tracking all the jobs he (that'd be me) applies to so that I can fill out the form properly.

So, you go to the unemployment website and it's just overwhelming. If you try to call, you get a message saying they are overwhelmed and cannot answer any calls, then direct you to the website.

It's enough to make a girl want to cry.

Somehow, I managed to find the freakin' place where one requests a replacement continuing claim form and submitted it.

I am so done with being responsible for everything. I am so done with bitching about being responsible for everything. I have ragged at my husband about this to the point of which even I hate the sound of my own voice, but this is important shit. All of this stuff has so many levels of bureaucracy and time frames and oy-vey. I walked in the room after trying to get a hold of unemployment the other day and he asked me "So what's up?"

"You fucked up, that's what's up."

I'm sick of it. I want him to get a job already. I keep seeing these people living in tent cities and think that is going to be us. I really do. I have all about accepted the fact that we're going to have to move back to the old house come September. We should have moved back and not rented it. I feel like we just keep making bad decision after bad decision. I'm quite frankly, really scared about our future.

And I'm sure many of you are thinking - Why is she doing all of this for her husband? Why can't he do it for himself. My answer to that is - that is a very good question. I don't really have an answer other than to see that by the way he handles the situation (filing important, time sensitive papers that involve creating positive cashflow for his family away instead of reading them and filling them out) one can see why I need to be the one in the driver's seat. I just hate it. I want to sit shotgun for a while.

So That's Why I'm So Aggro

Well, I'm still feeling grumpy, but today got my period, so that may be a factor. I wasn't keeping track, but it feels a bit early. Like, a week early. Dear god, I hope I'm not perimenopausal. *gasp!*

Since I'm in such a funk, but want to post something, here are our Easter pictures! Most of the weekend was quite lovely, until 5 p.m. Sunday. :)

Grumpy Grumpers

I'm here, but grumpy.

I called my doctor today, asking her if I should maybe switch back to Zoloft. The Wellbutrin is making me feel quite agitated and anxious. We decided to give it about 10 more days and then take it from there.

So, other than the head cold I have (yeah, that's right - another one) everything is peachy.

The Perfect Storm

I feel like the suckiest blogger around. The past week has just been a whirlwind of I'm not even sure what.

Easter was ok. The kids loved their incredibly simplistic easter baskets, thank goodness. I think it helped that there was zero buildup to the whole Easter thing, so it was just a pleasant surprise for them. They received play-doh, jelly beans and one book each. That seemed to keep them occupied for most of the morning.

Our friends had an easter egg hunt and that was a lot of fun. Well. Until I noticed that every egg had a peanut butter cup or peanut butter egg in it. (David has a peanut allergy.) I spent the rest of the morning, chasing after him, making sure he didn't get one of the peanut butter eggs. No small feat, let me tell you.

Easter dinner at the in-laws was kind of a disaster. The combination of a long, busy weekend, skipped naps, copious amounts of sugar, overstimulation and standard 2 year old boy antics = the perfect storm by 6 p.m. Sunday, right in the midst of Easter dinner.

There was some ensuing tension between my sister in law and I that had me fuming all the way home last night and vowing to not speak to her, like, ever again. Her and I go way back with occasional tension and/or animosity, so this is nothing new, but she took it to a new level of bitchiness this time. I don't even have the mental fortitude to go into it here and now, but trust me, she was out of line and I won't be shaking this one off lightly, like I have in the past.

Alrighty then! Hope everyone else's Easters were fun! Sofia actually did great. I was just in a funk all weekend, so Easter dinner just sort of piled on to that. I'll snap out of it. Eventually.

Tschshooooooooooooooooes

This is how I found William this morning. The shoes were on the changing table as David had been wearing them the previous evening. It's a long story.



The boys love Sofia's shoes. Particularly the princess ones. They're actually kind of obsessed. It's their favorite word, hands down. "Tchshoo! Tchshoo! Tschshooooooooooo!" they exclaim, most of the day.

These pictures will be worth their weight in gold come 2020.

Sofia's Early Drawings

A lovely piece of artwork by my daughter. That is me in the center with my "fat tummy." That is also one of her attempts to write her name there in the middle upper left. You will see the letters for Sofia, but in no particular order.



Out of the blue, she wrote her name from left to right. I beamed with pride.



And another representation of Mommy and Sofia.



And we like to call this "river of rainbows."

Day o' Partays

So yesterday was busy. Birthday party for Sofia's little boyfriend, then sister in law's surprise 40th birthday party in the evening. At the last minute, we decided to bring Sofia (thanks to a late nap) and she was so excited. As usual, she worked the room the entire night. When we were leaving, everyone kept saying "You're LEAVING?" to her in a genuinely disappointed tone. I tell ya, I could learn a thing or two about mingling from little Miss Thang.

My sister in law was genuinely surprised. This I know because she showed up with no makeup on. Natch, the men had planned the party and their "ruse" to get her there was to "play poker," so she shows up in jeans with no makeup. It never occurred to them, because they are men, that she would not be dressed up for her party. I could tell she was a little embaressed at first, but a few Black Russians later and it didn't seem as though she had a care in the world.

The Brazilian nanny was a smashing success. The boys loved her and didn't even cry when we left. They were saying "Bye Bye" and waving at the window. I thought they would freak when we left w/Sofia, but not. They were quite mesmerized by her. She played games with them, read them stories. etc. When I explained how to use the remote, she told me that her host family does not have television. I was speechless. I think she studied most of the night. Yeah, this one's a keeper.

Today is Baby Loves Disco. I can't wait to see how the boys do. Last time we went, they weren't walking. Yesterday, William was dancing along with Yo Gabba Gabba (my new FAVORITE show, btw - the boys love it ), so I suspect he will be shaking his butt on the dance floor today.

7 Quick Takes Friday - 3/3/09

1. I’m feeling a little down and anxious the past few days. I’m not sure if this is just me or the Wellbutrin messing with my head, but I guess time will tell. I’m just really, really cranky most of the time. I do feel like I need to give it at least 3 weeks to kick in and do its thing.

2. I went to a playgroup with just William yesterday (part of “Divide and Conquer”) and it was really quite lovely. He was interacting more with the other boys and I was actually able to finish a sentence while talking to the other moms.

3. As Sofia has decided that the computer is now the most awesome thing in the world (specifically the games at Noggin and Nick Jr.) I have decided that this will be the best thing in the world to use as a reward. We’re in the very beginnings of creating a chore/responsibility chart and she will use to earn the privlege to play these games or watch television. Things that she needs to do include making her bed, cleaning her room, brushing her teeth, sharing with the twins, staying in her bed all night, helping mommy in any way, etc. We will see how it works, but I’m hopeful.

4. Busy weekend coming up and I wish I felt more spunky. I am going to have to be in a social setting most of the weekend and I’m not really in that mindset. Crawling in bed and watching hours of I Love Money and UFO Hunters is all I really feel like doing.

5. I attended another board meeting for my mother’s club last night and while I’m enjoying the contacts I’m making, I am discovering that just like any and all other events surrounding Mommy Alpha Types (generally the types that sign up for things), there are cliques. I am new, so it’s difficult to break into certain cliques, especially since I work outside the home and most of these women are home and bouncing around town, tending to their kids and interacting with one another. I’m trying not to let it get to me too much, but it is something that is simmering in the edges of my mind.

6. I’m starting to get into planning mode for Sofia’s “Under the Sea” birthday party in a few weeks. One of the ideas was to make blue jello with Swedish fish inside of them. That’s really the only idea I have come up with. So far, we have about 12 kids coming, with possibly 10 more. Yikes. Why do I do this to myself.

7. The weight situation is really at a standstill. I have been walking, but not doing WW and I’m doing a fairly good job of beating myself up about it. I WISH there was a way I could get to the gym. I thought about evenings, but the closest “real” gym is 20 minutes away. There are a few smaller ones in town, but they either offer classes or they are Curves and I really prefer the large, sprawling type gyms that you can get lost in. I guess buying a treadmill is really the answer, but there’s no where to put it. Such problems, right?

Way Back Whensday - Cabo 2003

Dateline: February, 2003.

Place: Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Context: I had surprised Steve with a Valentine's Day trip to Cabo that Christmas of 2002. He surprised me, right after Christmas, with an engagement. This was on our Valentine's Day Cabo trip, taken on the balcony of the wonderful hotel we stayed at. We had such an amazing time. It floors me to think of how different our lives were when. Back then, it was all about the cats and planning the big wedding which would take place later that fall.

The signed wall photo was taken at the Hotel California in Todos Santos, Mexico.