Getting to Know You

So, my friend Gina at Namaste by Day is mock interviewing me. This is kind of fun!!

1. What is your favorite childhood tradition that you have passed on or will pass on to your children?

We didn't have a whole lot of tradition in my house growing up, which makes me want to begin new ones with my kids. One thing that we did do as a child was attend church on Christmas Eve. Once the kids are old enough, I'd really like to start doing this. I remember it being such a magical event, going to Midnight Mass.

2. If you could win an award for anything, what would it be for?

Being on time. I'm embaressingly prompt.

3. If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would you choose?

Steven Hawking, Marilyn Monroe and Barack Obama.

4. What is one thing you always consider splurging on...but don't?

There's not much I don't splurge on when I want it. It's an issue.

5. If I looked in your refrigerator, what would you find?

I was just thinking about this as I semi cleaned out the fridge yesterday and I looked in there thinking how sadly empty it was. Fortunately, I did make it to the store today, so I can say there are some staples on hand. Milk, eggs, cheese, leftover tri-tip, medicine (oh, lots of medicine), apple juice, lemonade, Smirnoff ice, bottled water, Gogurt, Yoplait yogurt (for me), some veggies in the crisper and that's generally about it. I mean, there are lots more little things, but I don't want to bore you with talk of mini pickles and 50 thousand salad dressings.

Hunter/Gatherer

A couple of things I have discovered this weekend.

- The Neti pot really does help.
- This Web Momma gig may actually turn out to be a good thing, if I can find the time to devote to it.
- All the time I am putting in to finding Steve a job, expanding my horizons outside of work and basically spinning my wheels is incredibly draining & stressful. I don't want to be the Hunter/Gatherer. I just don't.

Lazy Weekend

I love this picture and wanted to post it.

Having a lovely, lazy weekend.

And here are some more pics: the boys, Sofia at ballet, etc.

7 Quick Takes Friday – 2/27/09

1. Ariel's a Busy Girl. Now that I know where I’ll be living in April, I’m working overtime to arrange for Ariel to attend Sofia’s 4th birthday party. That is extravagant as the party will get. The time (2-5) will dodge the whole lunch issue with snacks and cupcakes being the only food offerings. (Past 2 years have been extravaganzas that did include a meal. This year, we’re scaling back) The boys are having a family-and-close-friends -only birthday celebration in a few weeks. It’s always a challenge to figure out the best way to handle 3 children who’s birthdays are within 5 weeks of each other. So far, no call back from Ariel's peeps.

2. I Didn't Gain! As much as I tried to talk myself out of going, I forced myself to attend Weight Watchers this week, after missing last week’s weigh in. Much to my surprise, I lost a lb. Now granted, I had gained a pound at the previous weigh in, but hey, at least I didn’t gain. That’s my mantra.

3. Job Search. I have spent the better part of the morning dealing with unemployment paperwork and job searches for my husband, at the public library. I feel like I’m working on a middle school project, working there, but I can’t do it at home (the boys are there with Steve) and wasn’t due to come into work until noon, so there you go. I cannot put into words how frustrating it is to have to apply for each job by visiting the company’s website, registering and putting in your profile information and entire work history for every.single.job. I’m sapped. That’s it. I’m spent.

4.Second interview. On that same note, Steve has a second phone interview on Monday for the position I spoke of yesterday. Still cautiously optimistic here.

5.In Over My Head? I have my one on one training session with the mother’s club Web Momma tonight. Have I mentioned I may have gotten in over my head? I downloaded the website manual. It’s 467 pages. I actually printed it out (at work, ssssh) and put it in a binder, just to let her know I was serious. I’m still not sure if this is something I am going to be able to manage, so we’ll see.

6.WIC. I need to research WIC. I had thought that with my job and unemployment for Steve, we would not qualify, but after seeing how much Steve is receiving, I may need to research this further.

7.Light at The End of the Tunnel? Things seem to be picking up at the office. One house that was listed last week for $1,150,000 just sold. Boom, bam, gone! That hasn’t happened for months. Hmmm, is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Innocence

Just returned with dinner at a friend's house. This is my soon to be divorced friend. She has a 4 year old, was married one month before I was. We were in each others' weddings. Her and I got pregnant within 3 weeks of each other. I lost that first pregnancy, she went on to have her son, then I had Sofia 9 months after his birth.

My friend lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with her 4 year old and 13 year old (from her first marriage). The first time Sofia met her older son, she thought he was her 4 year old's daddy. Of course she did. Why wouldn't she?

Tonight, Sofia repeatedly asked where Connor's daddy was. I wasn't quite sure how to address this with my 3 year old, but Connor answered for me. "He lives in another house," he offered. No biggie. This is as normal as breathing to him as they've been separated since he was two years old.

On the drive home, Sofia asked why Connor's daddy lives in a different house. I hemmed and hawed, then just said "Because that is where he needs to be," or something equally vague.

She was quiet for a minute, then asked when Connor's daddy had "Gone away." I explained that he didn't go away, just lived in a different house and assured her that Connor sees him often. She then asked if we'd ever go visit Connor at his daddy's house. I paused, then said "Probably not."

She then asked why my friend had 5 cars. Apparently, she thought my friend's apartment carport was her garage, entirely. Why would she know what an apartment was? She's never been to one. I had never even thought about it from her perspective.

It was then that I realized how different a childhood my little one is having compared to my own. By her age, my parents had already been divorced for 3 years. I never knew kids with normal, married parents growing up. Most of my friends were latchkey kids, living in apartments with single parents. I know that as time goes on, Sofia will learn what divorce means, will have friends in single parent families, but for now, I want to feel all warm and fuzzy that my little one is mostly innocent with regard to the ways of the mommies and daddies and different living arrangements.

Please Vote!

So, a fellow mom blogger and Brigadier General in the unreasonably-spaced-children regiment, The Meanest Mom, is nominated for a Scholastic Parent and Child Mommy Blogger Award.

Please visit her site where you can find the link to vote. Her blog is hands down, the funniest f'ing blog I've read. Maybe I'm a bit biased as I tend to appreciate the funny, sarcastic types, but really, please check out her blog and vote!! Thanks!

Cautious Optimism - That's How I *Roll*

We took William in and *what a shock* he has an ear infection, or the other one didn't go away. My life has turned into one, big, juicy, ear infection. I feel like a nurse, dispensing all the different meds.

Did I mention that both the pediatrician AND the nurse asked how far apart in age the twins were? I always get such a kick out of this, but maybe notsomuch when it's coming from their doctor. I could tell he was a little embaressed that he didn't realize they were twins. Aside from their very different appearance, William is much bigger, taller and with a big noggin, so this throws people off. The doctor has seen them before, but not together. (We have their regular pediatrician in San Francisco, a 45 minute drive. We still see him for all well check visits because of William's history and him being there for all of that business)

And this just in...

We have a signed, six month lease (our preference) on our little house.

God Bless America.

Someone called Steve about a position yesterday.

I don't want to get all hopeful-like or anything, so I'll just stay cautiously optimistic for the time being.

Way Back Wednesday -- When Mommy was Skinny

]

Dateline: December 1998
Place: Office Christmas party at a local restaurant


In light of my apparent complete non interest in Weight Watchers the last few weeks, I thought it was time to bust out with some pics to inspire me, motivate me. Hence, the skinny, twentysomething, single Melissa shot.

I thought I was so bad ass here, with my black tights, black mini, festive cardigan and (out of shot) Kate Spade bag. Good times.

My Cheap Attempt at a Free Pass to Blogher

To attend Blogher in Chicago would be the cherry on the cake of my year.

I was not new to the world of online networks when I started my blog in February 2007, but most of my online contribution had been primarily related to infertility and miscarriage. 2006 brought the death of my father and an unexpected twin pregnancy. Overnight, I went from "age related miscarriage girl" to "soon to be mom of 3 under 2 girl" - a complete 180 in terms of my identity.

Once I got past the mind numbing nausea of the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy, I sought out others who had been in my shoes and lived to tell about it. Along the way, I sharpened my writing skills, found my niche and made some profound connections with people, that have at times, been the sole source of hope amidst the chaos that is my life.

My blog began as a generic, online journal for friends and family, sharing the details of the the first year with my Irish triplets. And what a year it was. 2007 and 2008 brought us health crises, unemployment and 5 hospitalizations. As I wrote and more importantly, read others' blogs, it became clear to me that I needed to take my blog to the next level. I started a new blog, with new graphics and began to make blogging & writing a large part of my life, outside of caring for my family and of course, my full time job outside the home.

I'm always looking for ways to network and learn more about the world of MommyBlogging, so attending the BlogHer conference would certainly be a wonderful opportunity. Given that my husband is currently unemployed, I have no idea how I will afford a trip to Chicago, but trust that if I win this pass, I will find a way. I have a whole closet of outgrown baby clothes that are just calling out to Ebay and craigslist.

My Cute Purse

I was just tagged with the purse game, so here goes.

I go back and forth between carrying a purse and one very large (but cute) diaper bag.

I am embaressed to admit this and I can hear an audible gasp from Michelle in New Jersey from here, but I bought this bag at Long's Drug Store for about $20.

The best part? You would not believe the comments I get on it. I get raised eyebrows and "Hmmm...someone's been shopping..." and "Ooooh, cute purse!" comments all the time. Clearly, people think it's expensive. It is a knock off of expensive looking purses, made in China, probably dipped in lead, but that's ok. I mean, it's not really ok, but will do for now.

This Just In: My Random Oscar Ramblings

I thought Winslet looked drop dead breathtaking. Seriously, that one always gets it right. I love that she's a mom, too. I have had a girl crush on her since Little Children.

I also liked very much that Sean Penn does indeed have a self awareness of his douchey-ness. Seriously, though, he deserved that one. I was very happy he won and the screenwriter as well.

I'm not sure how I feel about Heath Ledger's award, but I haven't seen the performance and probably won't, so probably should not have an opinion.

I thought Hugh did a great job. He's a hot renaissance man, that guy. Yummmmm.

I thought Diane Lane looked fabulous and I need to take some of what she's taking. Cripe!

I also thought Robert D. J. looked incredible, like he'd just returned from a spa.

Most of the ladies looked really gorgeous. Lots of classic glamour, I love that.

Anne Hathoway looked lovely, as did Amy Adams (although I'm not so hot on the necklace. Sofia loved it! ) We have watched Ella Enchanted recently, so Sofia was very happy to see 2 princesses there.

She actually asked at one point, "Where's Cinderella, Mommy?"

I love her, god knows I do, but would it KILL Jennifer Aniston to wear her hair up or do something different than the way she always wears it? I know she's the queen of boho chic, but seriously, mix it up, girl. Don't get me wrong - I love her and would kill to have her hair or body or both, but the long and straight thing is getting old. The whole her and JM vs. Brad and Angelina was a bit tense, them panning to AJ when JA was on stage. Oy, that must suck.

Meryl Streep looked great. She sometimes can be a bit offbeat, but she was really pulled together this time.

I thought Mickey Rourke looked good too. Steve was like "He looks awful!" I was like, "Have you seen Mickey Rourke in the past 5 years? He's looking great, trust me!"

I'm Not Above Bribery

Playing along withe Melissa...

I didn't bribe Sofia into eating a hard boiled egg with the promise of My Little Pony gummy treats.

I would never do that.

I felt truly evil watching her practically gag (she hates eggs) on the egg, forcing it down. That girl will do just about anything at the prospect of a snack treat.

The "H" word

A friend of mine is playing the letter game and I thought it would be fun to play along. The task is to come up with 10 things I love that begin with the letter "H."

Harder than it looks!

Health - This is something that I've always struggled with, growing up with asthma. Now that I have my walking petrie dishes, seems we are always un-healthy, making the times we are healthy much more meaningful. In all seriousness, health scares in my life have brought me to my knees emotionally, which has been hard, but in retrospect, makes so much of the day to day stress much less frightening.

Hot Dogs - I know they are bad, toxic even, to the human body. Despite that, they still rank up there with my top 5 foods. I did grow up eating only all beef, deli old fashioned franks, but still I'm sure they were fat and carcinogen laden. I'm still kind of a hot dog snob, would prefer not to eat packaged hot dogs, unless they are Hebrew Nationals. My first job was working at a ballpark, putting hot dogs in buns for the vendors. And in case you were wondering, I'm a simple girl. Mustard and bun, those are my only requirements.

Halloween - This was my favorite holiday growing up. I guess it says a lot of my mental state as a kid that I looked forward to becoming another person for a day. It was an opportunity to wear something outlandish, put on makeup (as a child!) and act a bit crazy. The weather was just starting to turn (living in California, that would mean turning from high 60's to low 60's) and there was a new smell in the air, a new light was cast. And well...ya know...the candy didn't suck either.

Hair - So, I'm not even going to lie. I'm a bit obsessed with my hair. From the days when I begged to have my hair cut off for a Dorothy Hamill style, then cried like a baby as I had to walk around with this unflattering bowl cut, hair has played a huge part in my identity. It's been permed, colored, cut, grown long, highlighted, lowlighted, reddened, henna'ed, conditioned, glossed and crimped. I prefer my hair on the longer side, although I know my days are numbered on carrying that off. For those of you who know me, you will probably be chuckling at this one as I've been mercilessly teased for having coiffed hair at all times. Now granted, there were a few months in there, postpartum, when my hair wasn't looking so cute, but for the most part, you won't see me leave the house without my hair looking ready to impress. And yes, I used to be a hair stylist. Briefly. Hardest job I ever had.

History Channel -- I adore the History Channel. I can become quite engrossed in anything from The History of Sex in the Bible to a documentary about clowns. Seriously, I think I picked the wrong major at times.

Hotels - There is nothing better about a beautiful, clean, hotel room. For one thing, it usually means you are on vacation. Clean slate, new travel adventures looming, maid service and a mini bar? It doesn't get any better than that.

Home - I am a Taurus and as such, treasure nothing more than my house and all that goes with it. I have been told by ex boyfriends (and my husband) that "You always want to go DO stuff," but that is just a smokescreen. At heart, I really am a homebody.

Handwriting - I love writing and looking at people's writing. I have always been able to mimic most people's handwriting and my own changes frequently, although now that I have kids, it has settled into one slightly right slanting (oh, the irony!) doctor-like chicken scratch. They say that changing your writing frequently is a sign of instability, but I say it's a sign of a creative girl exploring all her options.

Hawaii - What can I say about this other than I can't wait until my kids are old enough so that we can go back. I've gone twice, once with an a-hole ex boyfriend who bought a time share and is probably still enjoying it and once on my honeymoon. It is truly magical, in every way.

The Hills - I had to balance out the History Channel with something, right? I've been watching the Hills before it was the Hills, when she was known as LC and the show was Laguna Beach. (By the way, how much is Kristin K. kicking herself that she didn't jump aboard that train at the time? Last I saw her, she was sidling up to the Kardashian sisters and being made fun of on TMZ) My husband and I watch it together. Yes, it's kind of embaressing, but that show is seriously addicting. Plus it gives me something to talk about with my 23 year old cousins.

It is Oscar Night, After All

Gina over at Namaste By Day just gave me an award, for which I'm eternally grateful! This is the "cute blog" award, which means a lot to me!

It's fitting as it's Oscar night and all. That said, this is the first year *ever* when I had not seen at least 3 best picture nominations. This year, the only movie I have seen to be rich with nominations is Milk. I do hope Sean Penn wins as I think he deserves it. I think he can be rather douchey at times, but he is a stellar actor and should be awarded as such.

I will also be pulling for Ms. Winslet as she is my all time favorite contemporary actress. I wanted to see The Reader, Revolutionary Road, Doubt, Slumdog, etc. but just never make it to the theater. I wonder why?

But I digress...

I now have to pick 5 blogs to bestow my awards on.

And the Cute Blog Award Goes To....

My Chicken and Cheese

Everyday Snapshots

Haute Gossip

I Am the Mama

BagMomma

Otis Ridiculosity

This is my daughter at the pediatrician's office, confirming that she does indeed have an ear infection. (This was after her randomly mentioning some weirdness with her ear & discovering she had a temperature.)

It's the weekend. It's what we do.

The worst part? Having her gleefully exclaim,"Yey! Now we all have ear infections!"

Beach Boys

Let's see if this works.



Some pics. Steve actually had the bravery to take the boys to the beach yesterday, by himself. That would have sent me into nervous spells had I known he was doing it, but ignorance is bliss and they seemed to have a lovely time.

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Alpha Taurus Pt. II

Perhaps I am not the Alpha Taurus after all.

Alpha Taurus

So, have I mentioned that my daughter is a Taurus? Or that I'm a Taurus? My husband too? We are a house of bulls and quite frankly, it can get a bit gamey at times, but we manage.

I guess you could say that amongst the three of us, I am probably the Alpha Taurus. I'm not proud of it, it just *is what it is*. Growing up, my nickname was "Testa dura" which loosely translates to "hard in the head" in Italian. I was a piece of work as a child and my daughter is giving me a nice, tasty dose of my own medicine.

Lately, it has been power struggle after power struggle with Sofia. To the point of my not liking her very much as an individual more often than not. The biggest thing? What she is going to wear. She insists on wearing the most god awful get ups or summer dresses in 30 degree weather, both of which I have to fight her on. I know this is completely appropriate for her developmental stage, but it gets tiresome day after day after day. I try to cut her off at the pass, hiding the things I don't want her to wear or picking things out together the night before. This was not one of those times when I'd planned ahead. I was already at my wits end with her because of something that had happened the previous evening:

On the drive home from pre-school, she had her Scholastic book club order form and ripped it. I explained to hear calmly that I was now not going to be able to order her any books from the book club. Suffering from lack-of-nap-itis, she became unglued at this news. She proceeded to cry and whine for the entire 40 minute drive. This behavior, coupled with my PMS and nervous condition caused by the events of the day (housing sitch) almost put me on overload. I honestly wanted to tell my husband to pull over and I'd walk home.

I shut down. I did not acknowledge her, not even one time. Thank god Steve was driving or I am not sure I could have ignored it. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me, kicking my chair, calling out my name, begging me to look at her, but I would.not.budge. I didn't speak to her, did not engage her, did not react when she repeatedly said "Mooooooooooooooom! I wanted to rip it! I wanted to rip it!" We finally got home and Steve gave the kids dinner and I had some "alone time" in my bedroom to calm down and all was fine after that.

Fast forward to this morning. Sofia wants to wear these god awful, pink leopard leggings to school (my own fault, I bought them to wear under dresses.) Something you would have seen David Lee Roth wear, circa 1984. I repeatedly explained to her that the leggings were not appropriate for school and she actually said something to the effect of " all the kids wear them."

God give me strength. Seriously? Already with this? She's 4!! I am doomed.

So, I pick out very cute, flared, brown sweat pants for her to wear and tell her that if she does not put them on, I will have to take leopard pants away. This escalates into me threatening to cut the pants into pieces. She still is hysterical, screaming "NO! PLEASE DON'T CUT THEM! PLEASE DON'T CUT THEM!" but is refusing to get dressed.

I now regret saying I'd cut them as it's becoming clear she is not going to comply. I count to three...

I am now left with no choice but to get the scissors. I even held them up to the pants, hoping this would force her to give in.

She didn't.

In the end, I cut the pants. I had no choice. Well, I probably did, but I had reached the end of my rope. Part of the problem is my lack of giving her consequences for her actions or following through on consequences. I am usually so distracted and in survival mode that I don't always have the energy or mental fortitude to take on my little tyrant. I knew that today had to be different.

Once I cut the pants, she crumpled into tears, but I walked away, cut pants in hand. I then told Steve he needed to handle the situation from here and went to take a shower.

About 5 minutes after my shower, there was a knock on the bathroom door.

There stood Sofia, eyes brimmed with red, hair disheveled and lip quivering. But she was wearing the outfit I had asked her to put on.

Truth be told, I felt like a "Mean Mom" for this scene, but I am tired of her challenging me on every.little.thing. I really needed her to understand that I mean what I say and will follow through on my words.

It was a tough morning, but we hugged and all was well after that.

As for the leggings, I am thinking they will make lovely biker shorts come summer.

Costco and Cat

So, here are the boys at Costco.

Jen, to answer your question, it's the food. The free food.

And here is Miss Thang with the cats. This is momentous as the grey cat (Trixie) has been hiding in the closet for almost 4 years. To see her and Sofia bonding is a beautiful thing indeed.

Let's Look at The Bright Side, Ok?

Ok, I am going to take a note from my friend Jen and try to turn this frown upside down by looking at the bright side of things.

1. David said "My shoe" today. This is huge, using 2 words together.

2. While my company is doing more layoffs this week, I haven't heard anything about our office. *fingers crossed* Being the assistant to the head HR person for the company puts me enviable/horrible the position of hearing all the things that I should not hear with regards to this stuff. I assume I'll know in advance if something is brewing with my position, but you can never tell.

3. Someone from playgroup complimented me on my photography today. This was a person who definitely had an artsy vibe, so that made me feel good.

4. I seem to be making more friends here. I am going to keep this as a positive because even if we do move back, it's only 20 minutes away and new friends are always welcome.

5. The boys seemed to thrive on playing with a bunch of boys in their age group. I always feel they got the shit end of the stick in this regard, but today I am feeling good.

6. I have lots of things to look forward to in the coming months. The boys' birthday, Sofia's birthday, a trip to Disneyland and a trip to Austin to visit my best friend in the whole world. You can slap me now. I shouldn't even be complaining about anything!

7. No one is sick this week.

8. The rain has stopped and the weather is glorious again.

9. I've written more in the last 6 months than I have in the last 5 years and that is so therapeutic for me.

10. We are going to Costco this afternoon with the boys. I love Costco and can't wait to get there.

11. I'm continuing to lose weight, although the rate has slowed a bit due to my high stress level and those damn Rold Gold Cheese pretzels that somehow keep managing to end up in my cart every time I go to Target!

Ok, I think 11 things is enough to turn this frown upside down. Onward and upward!

P.S. It may be temporary, but *this* is where I live right now. It doesn't get much better than this.

Negotiations Suck

Ok, so it's been a wild ride the past few days.

Our little house went on the market for rent on Tuesday. Immediately, there was a slew of interest. We had a lovely prospective tenant all set to sign the papers today. A Nurse. Excellent credit score. Wanted it bad. Perfect, right?

She was told yesterday (by my boss/agent) that we wanted a 6 month lease.

Today, she tried to negotiate a 9 month lease. That would be fine were it not for the fact that my boss is telling me she is 90% sure she *needs* to sell *this* house come September 1st.

It's like being punched in the gut. Honestly. I feel like we just got settled here and now, the rug is being pulled out from under us. I'm sort of angry at my boss, but at the same time, I know her financial situation is shaky and she really may have to sell.

Due to this new development, we really *have* to have a 6 month lease because we may need a place to live come September 1st. My husband does not have a job and my job is certainly not secure. Who knows what our situation will be September 1st.

The woman would not sign a 6 month lease, so we let her walk.

Please, GOD, don't let this be a huge mistake. I think I am going to throw up from nerves. I do. I hate this. HATE it.

***

On a lighter note, I hosted playgroup for the boys this morning. There were about 5 people and it was just lovely. Great group of ladies. Of course, this is upsetting me even more because I think about how I don't want to get attached to this house or these ladies or this area.

On one hand, I know we should be happy we have a house to move back to if need be, in probably one of the most desirable areas in California - good school district, great weather, usually plentiful jobs, etc. It's just about 600 sq ft smaller than what most people would require for a family of 5. We could move back. The 3 kids could share a room. It could work. It would be tough, but it could work.

It may have to.

Have I mentioned how much I feel like I'm going to throw up?

Way Back When-sday - Spanky

Dateline: June 2005.
Sofia's Age: Approximately 3 months old. Ahhhh, the good old days.

This is one of my favorite photos of Sofia.

I will age myself on this one, but I like to call it her "Spanky" look.

Tater Tot and Curly Fry

Here are my anti-twins for Two For Tuesday...

Tater Tot and Curly Fry at 23 months. Love 'em.

The "Good" News

So, the speech evaluation is complete. Bottom line, the boys have a mild delay and do not qualify for free speech therapy through the state of California. Their delay would need to be moderate for them to qualify. The doctor assessed the boys at an 18 month level for expressive speech and right on track for receptive language.

We were brought into a little room that had a play kitchen, microwave and basketball hoop. The boys proceeded to put items in the microwave and oven, never stopping once in the hour and a half we were there. The doctor was wonderful. She had a very competent but warm demeanor and I liked it her quite a bit. It didn’t hurt that she also has a 4 year old and we sort of bonded on that level.

Green Beret mostly sat quietly, taking notes, but when she did speak, she was as intense as ever. After about an hour of questions and observations, they both left the room and the doctor came in and gave me the “good news.” Honestly, it is good news. There are so many families out there with special needs or autistic children, I am so thankful to hear that my boys are on track. I wasn’t ever seriously concerned about their development in that regard, but with William’s previous neurological injury and issues, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a slight concern there.

That said, I am not sure I agree with the 18-month assessment level. I am obviously not a doctor or speech therapist, but on a purely anecdotal level (based on being around many 2 year olds) I see my boys more at a 15-month level with expressive language. Ironically enough, they would need to be delayed to a 15-month level to qualify for early intervention. A moderate delay would mean they’re using no more than 5-7 words expressively at almost 24 months. They are using 10-12 words expressively. I knew it was going to be a very borderline situation.

So, what's next? They are keeping the case open and we are to check in in a few months to let them know the twins' progression. I could look into private insurance options for speech therapy, but given today's evaluation, I think it's probably best to just hold tight and see what the next three months bring.

Something tells me I haven't seen the last of Green Beret.

Geez, do I Have Anything Good to Say?

So. I've been having quite a bit of anxiety lately and therefore, not wanting to write.

I think the lack of zoloft in my system is now apparent and I waver between being slightly nervous and wanting to scream most of the time. My financial and housing situation is getting so complicated and television is not even a welcome escape as the economic crisis seems to be the newest celebrity.

I've actually thought about going to my doctor and asking for Wellbutrin, but I do want to try and ride it out.

It just means I am perpetually in a bad mood and in turn, don't feel like writing much. Or doing much of anything, actually. Work is no better. My boss is in a bad way, in a bad mood and there's a dark cloud hanging over the company. If things don't pick up by the end of the first quarter, there could be one more unemployed adult in this family of five.

My computer died over the weekend thanks to some mega raw photo files. I almost lost the article I was working on, but managed to retrieve it somehow.

Today is the speech eval with Green Beret and yet-to-meet doctor Speech. We'll see what they say.

Under the Radar

I keep forgetting it's Valentine's Day. Honestly, it's so not on my radar, I can't even begin to tell you. When I think back on previous Valentine's days with former boyfriends and all that went with it - excitement, anticipation, expectation, feeling sexy, loved and wanted (or not, as the case may be) - it all seems so profoundly trivial compared to the deep love I now have in my life.

Last night, I was enjoying a glass of wine and trying to *not* think about our living situation and the decisions that need to happen in the next few days, without much success, I might add.

Sofia had found some loose, sticky tape-like material on the ground, something that came with an item I'd purchased at Ikea. I spent the next half hour watching her play with that sticky material. Steve and I were talking about the sorts of things that husbands and wives do and under the radar, Sofia was flitting around, pretending to be some sort of fashion stylist. She had a whole dialogue going that I wish I could recreate right now. First, she fashioned a headband for herself out of the tape, then came up and "measured" my head, ever so carefully, muttering "Seven. Definitely a seven."

Before I knew what had happened, she had wrapped the tape repeatedly around my wrist, creating a lovely bracelet for me. She beamed with pride as I oohed and awed over my new trinket. If I was a better Blogista, I would have taken a photo of my Valentine's bracelet, but alas, you'll have to take my word on this one.

It was in that moment that I found some clarity. Looking at her beautiful little face as she uttered loving gibberish to me, my soul nearly exploded with adoration for this amazing little person. Forget Sees candies, diamonds, roses or some expensive night out on the town. That was it for me.

Happy Valentine's Day to You & Yours, From Mine and Ours...

7 Quick Takes Friday - 2/13/09

Eek, Friday the 13th to boot!

1. I gained a pound this week. No shock there. I have been super stressed (see #2) and bought some reduced fat Cheeze-its. A lethal combo.

2. I've been struggling with a fair amount of angst over whether to rent or sell our vacant house. Now, I find out that our landlord (my boss) may have to sell the house we live in come September. Damn those ARM's. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

3. I did a little photo shoot of our house yesterday. It took all the anger management genes inside me (not much, admittedly) to not go postal on Sofia as she insisted on getting in every frame. If you look closely, you can see my lame attempt to photoshop her out the frame. It's kind of like Where's Waldo.

The house did come out cute and truth be told, I get verklempt looking at these pictures and all the memories that house holds. I love our current house, but it's not ours. What do I miss most of all? Those gorgeous hardwood floors. Carpets and little kids do not mix and are a great source of anxiety for me in our current abode.

4. I'm going to attempt to write my first paid freelance article this weekend. Wish me luck. Not sure when I'll have time to complete it, but I need to find the time.

5. Sofia and I are doing a sleepover at a friend's house late in the weekend. Very much looking forward to it.

6. The job search is going quite abysmally, might I say. I have applied to several positions and not heard one word back. I've retooled my resume, I've filled out questionnaires, trying to wow them with my mad writerly skills. I know the job market sucks, but this is beginning to really hit my self confidence where it hurts. I have a solid work history, I have a college degree. What the hey??? It's ugly out there...I used to think I was pretty marketable, now I'm questioning everything and generally feeling pretty shitty about the whole situation. I am feeling good about #4, but that is not about the money (it pays practically nothing), more about the exposure and building my portfolio.

7. I am finding it hard to sleep at night due to #6 and the prospect of losing my job. A 5 person family with no income? Not a scenario I am hoping to ever see. But it could happen. It could.

Shiver Me Timbers - More Awards!

Well shiver my timbers. I've been nominated for an award. My friend Heather over at A Spare and A Pare (a fellow 3 under 2 alumni) has nominated my blog and wow, thank you, Heather! I agree, H. -- us twins and especially us twins plus have to stick together! Thank you so much!

So now, I have to nominate a few of my favorite blogs. Here are the rules

1. Have to post the smoking cool, fantastic, fabulous Logo (as seen above)

2. Nominate some folks for their blogs (all about sharing love in the bloggy blog world right?)

3. Have to hyper link your nominees....so others can go check them out too...see what all the fuss is about!

4. You must tell your nominee that they WON! Hello? How would they know if you didn't comment on their blog.

5. Finally Hyperlink the blogger who gave you such a wonderful gift.

So *drumroll please* --- Here are the nominees....

The Meanest Mom -- Mother to at one time, 3 children under 1 yr old. That's right, 3 under 1. Whenever I think I'm having a rough day, I think of how as hard as 3 under 2 was, 3 under 1 had to be infinitely more challenging and she made it through with her kick ass, sarcastic sense of humor intact. She now has a 4th baby and honestly, her blog is one of the funniest, sharpest blogs out there.

Breed 'em and Weep - Come on, the title alone gets me. In all seriousness, this is probably one of the most well written blogs out there - brutally honest and gritty, something I appreciate.

Bagmomma - A blog written by a Michelle, a cyber friend I've come to know and love. She has been on a heartbreaking journey towards having a second child for way too long now, but I feel fortunate to have taken the journey with her. When not battling secondary infertility, she writes wonderful, witty prose and is always on the hunt for the perfect handbag.

I Really Don't See the Resemblance

Apparently, Miss Piggy was a guest on the view today. A thoroughly modern Millie (or whatever her real name is) she was there to tout The Diva Code, The: Miss Piggy on Life, Love, and the 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do (Hardcover).

Yes, I am serious.

I was bombarded with questions from Sofia. "Is there someone under the table?"

"Yes, " Steve said. What a buzzkill.

Sign #347 (as if I needed one) that my being on Weight Watchers is a good thing?

William repeatedly pointing to the screen with Miss Piggy and saying "Ma-ma! Ma-ma!"

Oy vey.