This past weekend was rough.
Outside of naps or when I was away from home, there was not a 5 minute time period that went by in which one of my children was not crying, whining, complaining or tantruming. It was pretty awful and tested my patience and ability to hold it together and parent calmly in the midst of chaos.
David was regularly emitting a sound that can only be described as a nasally wail, akin to nails on the chalkboard, for most of the weekend.
Sofia was repeatedly defiant and downright bratty for much of the weekend. I had hoped that by having her home an additional day would help, giving her more time with me, but she seems to be getting worse! At one point yesterday, in the midst of birthday festivities and surrounded by friends and family, she repeatedly ignored my request for her to behave. I finally took her into my bedroom and closed the door. She proceeded to tantrum like she never has before, repeatedly hitting me. It took every bit of patience and sensibility within me to not react. I remained calm, grabbed her hands to stop her each time and trying to use a calm, reasonable voice. After about 10 minutes, more kicking and crying, she finally calmed down enough to let me hold her, calm her down and then we came out together.
Moments like this make me feel like a complete failure, like she is just feeding off all of the stress I'm feeling in my life and projecting it back to me and that I've created a spoiled monster. She is getting increasingly difficult to handle and I feel like we need to stop it before it gets out of hand, but haven't the foggiest idea what to do with my little Taurus. We've tried avoidance, rewards, making sure she gets enough sleep, food, attention, etc. Do I chalk it up to being 3, bear down and hope it's just a phase?
On top of that, I'm quite nervous about this exam I have to take later today and a full week that requires me to be present, mentally. I look at what is required for this job and I think - who am I kidding? Even if for some crazy reason I pass all these tests and am offered this job, on what planet would I be able to handle such a high profile, high stress full time position such as this? I am holding on by a thread with my low stress 30 hour a week job. I'm so confused right now. I'm just going to take it one day at a time, but honestly, I feel like I'm drowning.
4 comments:
Oh no...three can't be worse than two...please say it isn't so.
I hope this week gets off to a better start!
At least you have PMS and THREE kids as an excuse. If you remember correctly, I posted something similar not too long ago and had absolutely no excuses. Hang in there. I am crossing my fingers for you and that exam!
I promise, it is a phase with Sofia. It will pass. You're NOT a failure. Maybe the kids are coming down with something -- excessive bratty whininess at our house often precipitates an illness.
I can relate to what you're feeling, though -- and I remember going through it a few different times. I am sure I will again. It doesn't mean you're a failure or your kids are brats or anything. It means you're a normal family.
Ditto what Jen says. It's a phase and I WILL PASS! We've all btdt and know how hard it is when they're behaving like this.
Just you wait, in a few days she'll be behaving like an angel again and you'll soak up her loveliness!!
Hang in there! xx
(Oh, and for the record, the 4's are FAR worse than the 3's ;-) )
Michelle x
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