So in an ironic twist of fate, I just realized that my twins are 10 months old today...and this is the anniversary of my first miscarriage at 13 weeks, 4 years ago. It's hard to even remember how all that felt, I'm in such a different place now. I was a different person back then. More self absorbed, more idealistic and most definitely more innocent/ignorant when pertaining to all things fertility related or infertility related, as the case may be.
Had gone in for my routine 13 week OB appt and there was no heartbeat. They sent me to u/s and this confirmed no heartbeat. I was completely blindsided as I'd been having horrible nausea and certainly no miscarriage symptoms = plus I'd had a perfect nuchal scan the week before and heard the heartbeat a few times before. Had a D&E the next day...I did have one more miscarriage before conceiving Sofia, but that's another story for another day.
To imagine a time when I thought my life was over, feeling complete despair as I went through this loss, I could have never, ever imagined that a mere 4 years later I would have 3 beautiful children.
I grieve the lost child, I do. But at the same time, if I'd had that child, I would not have my Sofia. I can't imagine my life without Sofia or the twins, they are truly the best thing that ever happened to me. Back then I was dynagirl, now I am Momlissa. Life is strange that way.
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