I Love My Kiddles

Ask me how much I love this pic. William loves baby dolls. He carries them around, attempts to feed them and pushes them in the stroller. Today, he pushed David around in the doll stroller, much to David's delight. Well, until he attempted to strap David in, then things got ugly.



David loves to smile. When he's not whining, that is. I'm sorry I didn't know you wanted to watch Dora vs. the Wiggles this afternoon. I wish you had the words to tell me this so we didn't have to spend a half hour trying to figure out why you were tantruming. Those words are coming, I know they are.



And Sofia, a.k.a. Little Tyrant. You are certainly a handful these days, asserting independence, testing boundaries and acting out all over the place. When you are not doing these things, you are a joy, a delight. I love it when I hear the sound of you sucking your fingers when you are cozied up next to me. I love it when I ask you to help me with the boys and you say "Sure!" I love it when you say "Sssshhh! My babies are sleeping! You need to be quiet!" I love it when you sneeze and ask me for a "Kleen-ik."



My crazy kids. I look forward to the days when they are putting on shows for Steve and I. I know those days are coming.

Day Off Activities - Dec. 4

Today has been spent catching up on stuff. Cleaning lady came yesterday so didn't have to spend most of my day doing that. Loving that. I figure, while I still have a job, I'll enjoy it, but with the job situation tenuous at best, it could all come crashing to a halt unexpectedly. In the meantime, I don't have to clean my toilet.

I was supposed to go to a holiday social sponsored by my mother's club this morning, but my 10 a.m., I realized that the fact that it was during the boys' nap was not something I would be able to work around. They needed a nap and they needed it pronto. Plus, I looked at the list of attendees and being new to the area, didn't see any of the few names I might recognize. So, I bailed.

It's a good thing I did. The boys were crank-monsters this morning. I think David (in particular) is having a lot of difficulty with his inability to communicate. He is starting to tantrum when he wants something and I can't understand. I feel so bad, just begging him to speak the words, but he doesn't seem to be able to.

The are just waking from a marathon 3.5 hr nap, so they must have been way sleep deprived. While they were down, I did 3 loads of laundry, folded, put away, pruned through Sofia's clothes and got her summer clothes out of the drawers so she would stop trying to wear them, wrapped 21 Christmas presents (no lie) made lunch and got some mystery spots out of my carpet.

Time to go get the nuggets up from their nap.

New Layout

Behold the holiday layout. Ho, Ho, Ho.

Note to Self

Ok. Note to self. Always ask 3 yr old if she needs to use the potty before getting in the check out line at the grocery store.

For some reason that escapes me, there were only 2 checkers open, each with a line of 10 people. As we finally reached the conveyer belt and I began to load my groceries, Sofia announced "I HAVE TO GO POTTY!" A few of the people surrounding us giggled.

"Do you think you can hold it, sweetie?" I asked.

She shook her head violently, so I knew the clock was ticking.

I made the whole day of the people behind us by taking us out of the line (full cart and all) and scurrying to the back of the store where I fortunately knew was the location of the one, pretty skanky, public bathroom.

After we returned to the line, I ran into a woman I'd attended a playgroup with. She was with her one little boy, same age as my twins. We exchanged pleasantries and talked about the holiday social that we're both attending tomorrow for our mother's club. The whole time we talked, I was wishing I could remember her name. She's extremely cool, a filmaker, I believe, who relocated here from L.A.

As I checked out & paid, I could not help but notice her items on the conveyer belt; wine, rum, cookies, bananas and bread.

Yeah, I remember (vaguely) what it was like to have one kid.

Not Sure What to Think

No Visit from the Powers That Be. Not sure how to feel about that. Maybe he will come tomorrow? On my day off. Perfect!

Our office is absolutely the lowest overhead in the system. No bells and whistles here, that's for sure. Still...

I went to see the finished product that is our house this afternoon. It's been in the process of being fixed up to lease. It looks so cute, can't wait to take some photos. I hope to god it rents quickly. We've had several inquiries from "friends of friends" but we'll see if any of that pans out. The rental market has been hot, but heading into the holidays? Not good timing, to say the least. I am not going to lie, I got a little wistful while walking through. Lots of memories there. Still, if I could let go of the house I grew up in, I can definitely let go of a house I lived in for 5 years. Plus, as cute as it is, it doesn't have a 3rd bedroom or a family room, so the new house trounces it with practicality.

Finished up some Xmas shopping online this afternoon. Babycenter was having a great sale, free shipping on orders over $49 and also found a promo code. I'm all about the promo codes. :) Got the boys some puzzles, trucks and PJ's. I think I'm done now. I still have to buy for my brother and sister in law, but that's always pretty easy.

Ho, Ho, Ho

So the owner of my company is going around to the offices, personally talking about cutbacks. This time, they're talking about compensation cutbacks. Yikes. If they cut my salary back, my whole paycheck will go to daycare and I'll have to seriously revisit the WOHM thing. Not to put the cart before the horse, but I've got a serious queasiness going on in my tummy right now. I had considered the prospect of them closing my office, but not salary cuts. Merry freakin' Christmas.

Not No Way, Not No How

So apparently, the prospect of strawberry milkshake for breakfast was enough to keep the Fee Fi Fo Monster at bay...for now.

Ok, so I had an epiphany.

Since I had the boys, after the bout with pneumonia when I lost 30 lbs in a few weeks, I have gained about 40 lbs. I could not afford to gain 40 lbs - not no way, not no how - and I'm currently larger than I have ever been.

It's really affecting me, in every way imaginable, from getting breathless to being tired to clothes not fitting to feeling bloated. I could go on. I don't like to shop at Lane Bryant. I used to shop at Ann Taylor and the Gap and all the fun stores. With few exceptions, most of the plus size clothes are just hideous. I hate getting dressed in the morning. I don't recognize my reflection. I've stopped even trying to suck in my perma-twin-skin.

Honestly, I really didn't drastically change my eating habits. I am definitely more sedentary now, but not any more than when I was pregnant with the twins and even then, I gained 25 lbs over time. So, it finally clicked that it might be the Zoloft. Bingo. I'm not sure why that didn't occur to me before? I've taken other SSRI's with the same result (though not this much). It all makes sense as I started on 50 mg when I had the boys and it was only when I increased it to 100 mg late last year that I saw my weight start to balloon.

Long story short, I am now in the process of attempting to wean off of it. It's a slow process, cutting the dose in half, then a quarter, etc.

I just can't live a day longer feeling this way, not no way, not no how! I'm nervous about the med change, but I think it's time to move on and shed the darkness of 2007 like an old, shriveled skin.

(Despite my $hit talking about Lane Bryant, I did visit their local store today and picked up a few things. Imagine my surprise when I saw this banner ad on Facebook, featuring one of the blouses I picked up!)